Yes! I DO!

According to Peggy Post's Wedding Etiquette book, one of the first and foremost items of wedding planning is compiling a guest list. It is also one of the most sensitive parts of the wedding planning. Who is invited and who isn't. Which family members and friends or acquaintances are invited the day and evening, and which only for the daytime ceremonies.

The list is important, as it defines everything else. How much room do you need in the church, for the reception, and foremost, how big does the budget need to be. With the reception generally being around 40-50% of the wedding budget, the number of guests do make a huge impact. And with the budget being fixed (more or less) it defines how much you can or can't do.

Every family has it issues, and ours are not an exception. The question then becomes, do I invite this cousin or that uncle and try to heal the rifts or do I keep them of the list and potentially create further reasons for animosity. Is the budget a reason for refusing some family members or should it just be personal preference.

While I think every couple faces these issues, our should I say wrestles with, the list hasn't been easy for us. We didn't have major arguments (luckily, for it would be an bad start to argue on the first item that needs to be resolved), but it has made some interesting discussions. One such discussion was if children should be invited or not. Well, it wasn't really a discussion, more a monologue from my side, since my fianceé was already decided on the matter, children should always be invited. In fact, they don't have to be invited, since an invitation to the family automatically implies the children are welcome. Now I have nothing against children, and would love to have a few of my own, I don't think weddings are necessarily the best place for them. Sure they look cute, but only until they start getting bored and they either start playing with food, start crying or generally start being obnoxius.

But a family is a family, and a family includes children. So we invite the children (and cross our fingers and hope for the best), and we invite uncles and aunts, even if they barely acknowledge our existence, never send a christmas card and don't even know our birthdays. Because after all, what is a wedding without family.